Month: September 2014

Delirium

Posted on by thenostalgicinsomniac

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I knew a girl who had her head held high up to the world

She lost herself to her insecurities and bid goodbye to her self-esteem.

Promises made, expectations raised as twisted as her curly braid  

And then they lived in denial of all that they vowed upon

Denial, a curse in her eyes kept her awake till dawn.

“Together, forever.” Words of the ones who said they’ll never leave

Hypocrites left her with wearied eyes, some tissues and her sleeve.

Beliefs and trust led her to apathy. The prize she won were her tears of grief.

She was called ‘young lady in agony.’ Her face now seemed like an autumn’s dry leaf.

She lost hope. Her hopeless eyes were as gloomy as an oil lamp

Drenched in her own fears, her clothes were now a little damp

She got addicted. Not drugs, not alcohol but a book

Carried it around, sniffed it. Did not care about the glances and the looks

The look that she wore was of a helpless soul

Who tried to cover it all up with dark kohl

A man of wit, fashionably dressed

Who praised her perfect imperfections

To him, she confessed

Later, she could not handle the rejection

She now never believed everything will be alright

Those days were long gone when

The shining light could be seen in her eyes

And she thought the shivering nights had died.

When her heart was melting and her eyes were brightening

Depression could be felt in her reflection

She could do nothing but cry

And empty thoughts slowly killed her

No one could ever explain why 

The nostalgic insomniac

Posted on by thenostalgicinsomniac

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The perfect imperfections of the dawn
The sound of a cricket thereupon 
He sat on a window sill waiting for it to rain 
He rained later on how his efforts were in vain
Breathing heavily with the wind in his hair 
Faintly aloof from the worlds chaotic affair
Wandering through the stars in search of light
Wondering at it’s beauty and trying to reignite 
Dead inside. Robotic routine. Blinded by the sight.
He was a nostalgic insomniac 
Trying to recreate memories of what was lost 
He lost himself to the darkness but at what cost?
Twinkling stars in the moonlit sky reminded him of rhymes
That he had learnt when he wasn’t old enough to commit crimes
But as he grew older he committed a socially accepted  sin 
Stole someones heart but later shadowed away in the dim.
Burning inside. Chaotic thoughts. Blinded by the inner voice. 
He was a nostalgic insomniac.
He forgot his morals along the way 
Trying to be brave, kept his demonic thoughts at bay. 
We all have our own demons to fight with 
But some of us settle on an agreement for a bit 
He tried running away from it all 
For all he knew his demons shadowed on every wall
Cried for peace . Burned himself down. Stopped. 
The nostalgic insomniac finally got what he craved for.
The sleep of peace with a piece of moonlit sky to dream of. 
The nostalgic insomniac died and gave rise to a new life as the thought of a new beginning dawned on him along with the sun the next morning.

The silent night.

Posted on by thenostalgicinsomniac

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3:33 am.
She was trying to fight the demons under her  bed. She, Scared of the demons victory over hers wakes up.Sits on a window sill trying to find voices to talk to. 13 floors above the ground in a city that claims it never sleeps. All she wanted was a voice to hold onto and then the cheapest mode of transport came to her rescue.
3:37 am.
she heard the horn .
3:41am.
she could hear the rails sing along with the birds that whispered their morning prayers. The highways shining bright whilst the Window lights going on and off because of someone trying to quench their thirst. She could see the sea far away but couldn’t hear the waves. Someone who might have heard her inner cry for peace made it rain. Trying to make her feel close to the sea. She could hear the leaves dancing and rustling.
Streetlight.
A defective street light faraway made her believe that life was like that ray of dim light.  Trying hard to shine but never enough to make this city brighter.  The golden headlights on a bridge over the sea was never enough to make her believe that a shimmering light of hope was enough to cross the bridge. The hills far away gave her a native feeling she fetched for a long time. The wind played with her hair like it belonged to him.
3:49am.
Everything was so soothing that she could hear the clock tick and was afraid that it might wake someone up anytime soon. She Still couldn’t stop staring at that street light . The way it went on and off. She just wanted to relate her life to something,  to someone, to make it more meaningful. 
3:53am.
She realised what the shivering light tried to convey. No matter how small you are , you are big enough to be a ray of hope for someone around. She looked around to find some more insomniacs but was too afraid she was the only one. She saw new arrivals in the city via sky who were about to land. She wasn’t afraid of the dark but she didn’t like it either.
Shadow.
Her shadow was laughing at her choices and her heart was laughing at her madness. A girl who related to things that never meant a thing to anyone. She let the wind hit her before she realised it was past five. She wondered where the sun went then it dawned on her.